Nature At Its Finest

I hate nature. Really I cannot stand anything that is camping, bush-whacking, creepy-crawly, poisonous, sharp teeth related. I hate nature and I do not want it near me. When we would swim the La Jolla Cove, I would close my eyes and try not to look at what was lurking beneath me. As much as I hated getting tangled in the seaweed and having it slither under my belly, it was better left to close my eyes and leave it to the imagination than to see the creatures that live in that kelp.

Nature is at its finest here in beautiful Florida. One sight that is very common around here is the landscaping truck. There are several *several* landscaping companies and the trucks are always parked out in the middle of the streets. Apparently the driveways cannot withstand the weigh of trucks, so they all park smack in the middle of the street. So, people do the logical thing around here, of course: they all drive on the grass to go around. People drive and park on the grass all the time. Coming from a homeowners association that slapped fines on people for not having a perfectly manicured lawn, I still cannot make peace with this regular occurrence of tires on the grass. But the grass grows rapidly and completely out of control, so it seems cars do not affect lawns whatsoever. Yes, nature. Snakes love to hide in this thick grass, too. We have a disgusting black snake who lives in our backyard grass. I hate him.

Apart from alligators and sharks and sea lice all of the other ocean creatures one has to worry about here, perhaps the most disconcerting are the ones who live on land. Not just snakes, of course, but the insect variety. There is a wide range of lovely pests who inhabit these parts. Among these bugs are silverfish, mosquitoes, noseemes, and the most dreaded, the fire ant.

Today my sweet little boy wanted to go to the park at 2:00 pm. I dreaded this request, knowing it was 94 degrees out with one hundred percent humidity. Can we get some fall weather around here yet? I have all but given up on the idea that I will ever wear a long sleeved shirt (let alone a sweater), but an occasional breeze would be most welcome. The air was thick with not so much as a hint of wind, and we were at the park right on the ocean. Dreadful. Anyway, 8 minutes at the park and there was a shriek from my son. A blood curling scream that caused me to leap out from under the modest picnic area where I was conversing with a neighbor I just happened to run into, and sprint over to the swings where he was standing. Crying so much, he couldn't tell me what was wrong, until I saw him grabbing his feet, which were bright red and blowing up. Fire ants. He obviously walked over one of their ant hills on his way to the swing set. I hate all things nature.

Really, I will not miss the dreadful weather and how it impedes our outdoor lifestyle. I will not miss the animals and insects and creatures. I will not miss the smothering heat and sticky air. Hmmm, I guess I will miss how nice my skin has become in this humidity. Thankfully my hair is stick straight and I do not have to worry about frizz. My poor girl. She is doomed to have bad hair if we stay here for any length of time.