My Heart Will Choose to Say...

...blessed be the Lord.


Though my eyes read the news,
My heart refused to believe.
Though confirmed you would not live,
I find it impossible to grieve.
Certainly you wouldn't leave us-
Not like this, not now?
My mind is trying to absorb it,
But my heart just doesn't know how.
We begged God for your life,
How we all still need you here!
But not all prayers are answered,
I walk heavy with sorrow and fear.
You lived your life out loud for God,
And with such humility and grace.
Always above the mediocre scene,
Culminating in one final race.
Your warmth, your smile, your encouragement,
Overflowed to us like a fountain.
But now I am stuck, dismayed, and broken,
Grief before me like a mountain.
So I ask how is this possible?
The wind, sea, or miles could not beat you.
The trails you ran, the races you won,
How could the asphalt defeat you?
I will always think of your quiet ways.
I will forever remember your kind voice.
We begged God for His great mercy,
But I guess circumstances left little choice.
We are all so blessed to have called you "friend",
And I cannot stop asking, "Why? Why?"
I am not sure how healing begins,
When I still cannot accept that you died.
I admit that I cannot understand
Why some God leaves, and some He takes?
But this I know: you are running with the Lord,
For now, I run with a heart that breaks.