Inspired

I refuse to believe there is a marathon in my near future. My head is so not there and I could care less about the finish. Is that wrong? I am waiting with great anticipation to see friends at home, who are now calling me daily asking for the count-down to our arrival (18 days, thank you very much). Summer is here and I can almost taste the salty Pacific air. I cannot wait to dive into the blue waters of my childhood and lay on West Coast sand again. I can't wait to drive along Pacific Coast Highway and run the hills of Torrey Pines. The mountains are calling my name more than anything else from home. I might even be down for a little earthquake action, just for old times sake.

As for training, it is what it is. I love to run and could do so for miles at a time-21 miles yesterday and then ten more today on tired legs. I love running with the boys-no b.s. and all work horse. Craig raised the question today about what kind of time I am looking for in San Diego and I told him I honestly could not care less under current circumstances. Somehow I rarely have successful races anymore, so I think I will have no expectations for May 31st. Speed begets speed, and I have not been consistently running track. I long for a big group of early morning runners again to tear around a track with. I miss the chest-burning pace my peeps used to push me to in days of old. Without speed, how can I possibly expect to have a strong marathon? I have made peace with it.

Maybe it is lack of motivation, or maybe it is increase in maturity, but I care so little about what the clock reads. It is kind of empowering that a clock doesn't define me anymore (neither does my weight, or the shoes I wear, or whatever). I want to enjoy running for the pure and simple sport it is meant to be. I love my training partners and we have such a great time together in the wee hours of the morning. I love that we text and email each other incessantly throughout the day because I cannot live without that contact with my athletic friends. I love being a mom, I love being a wife, I love being a friend, I love being a runner-these words define me. Maybe a marathoner I am not? I am not inspired to run a "fast" marathon, but I am inspired to do great things otherwise.

I have a new plan as to how I am going to attain great things. Wait for it. I want to inspire other people, too.